Divorced & Still Redeemed
“Sometimes the hardest chapters of our lives are the ones God uses most to reveal His redemption.”
Have you ever sat in church and felt that ache when the pastor spoke about marriage? I have. Every time marriage is mentioned, I feel a deep longing and sadness in my soul. You see, I wasn’t able to keep two marriages. Many don’t know that I was married in my twenties as well. Even writing that brings tears to my eyes. Maybe your marriage is on the rocks. God didn’t design it to be this way. Relationships are messy—two broken people trying to become one. Scripture says, “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another” (Proverbs 27:17). But when two people aren’t united in faith, morals, and humility, things can easily fall apart.
There are many reasons why people get divorced. Maybe you just couldn’t get along. Maybe addiction stole your spouse. Maybe adultery or emotional distance tore things apart. Whatever your reason, please hear me—it’s okay to grieve. Grieving has stages: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and finally acceptance. Wherever you are in that process, know that divorce is a deep loss—a heartache that doesn’t fully go away. God grieves it too. Our children grieve. It wasn’t supposed to be this way.
But here’s the beautiful truth: Christ can redeem, restore, and rebuild what’s been destroyed. He goes before those who love Him, turning ashes into beauty. Redemption might look like being content—just Jesus and me raising these girls. It might mean that after divorce, God fully restores and makes new what was once broken. Or it might mean He uses the pain of the past to better equip both hearts for whatever lies ahead. Only God knows how your story will unfold.
God’s Design for Marriage
God’s design for marriage is rooted in His holy covenant between one man and one woman—a sacred union meant to reflect Christ’s love for His church.
Unity: Marriage is described as a union where “the two shall become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24). This isn’t just physical—it’s emotional, spiritual, and covenantal. It’s about walking together, side by side, with hearts aligned toward God.
Purpose: God created marriage for companionship, for help and partnership—“It is not good for man to be alone; I will make a helper suitable for him” (Genesis 2:18). It’s also for fruitfulness, both in family and in faith.
Sacrificial Love: A godly marriage mirrors Christ’s love for the church—selfless, patient, and forgiving. “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” (Ephesians 5:25).
Principles for Joy: Marriage built on biblical principles—honesty, humility, and forgiveness—brings joy and reflects God’s goodness. “Love is patient, love is kind... it keeps no record of wrongs” (1 Corinthians 13:4–5).
Foundation for Family: God designed marriage as the firm foundation for family and faith. “Unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain” (Psalm 127:1).
It’s also best when both husband and wife are equally yoked, walking in the same faith and direction. Scripture reminds us, “Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness?” (2 Corinthians 6:14). When both hearts belong to Jesus, marriage becomes a shared journey of serving and loving like Him.
But here’s more truth—we live in a fallen world. None of us are perfect. Not the churchgoers, not even the Jesus-followers. We are all learning as we go, prayerfully trying to stay in step with Jesus because He knows what’s best. We are sinners in need of rescue—every single day.
Story of God’s Grace
Since I’m called to give testimony, I’ll honor my past by sharing only my part—because healing begins when we take ownership of our mistakes. This is not excusing or dismissing what the other person has done. That is for God to handle. But by confessing my part it brings freedom. Scripture says, “Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed” (James 5:16).
Life was even messier before I met Jesus. I lived in darkness—fear, anxiety, and self-medication. That kind of tension spreads like wildfire in a relationship. We were both yoked to the ways of the world, chasing temporary relief instead of lasting peace.
Then I met Christ. Jesus gently led me to surrender the very things that were destroying me. That’s what He does—He shows His love, then asks us to lay down what harms us so we can truly live. “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come” (2 Corinthians 5:17).
When I gave my life to Him, everything began to shift. My life suddenly had order—Christ first, then my husband, my daughters, and everything else. I learned that alignment through His Word. But as I healed, things around me did not. I prayed constantly, but being new in Christ, I didn’t always know how to walk that out. I wanted with all my heart for things to be different, but this was my reality. God does not desire divorce—but He also knows our hearts, our circumstances, and our pain. During that hard season, I nagged. I withdrew. I tried to protect myself. My flesh acted out of fear. God knows I would have never left unless He said it was okay. As things progressed, I heard a loving whisper from my Savior: “It’s okay to leave.”
Fast forward to this past year. I started a class called Re:Generation. This program walked me through the 12 steps of biblical healing. This program is not for one specific struggle but many. To be real, my struggles that brought to me to Re:gen were control, fear and anger. The list goes on but that is just a few! Ill leave a link below if you are interested in becoming free from your struggles. In this class, Jesus kept showing me my part—my choices, my heart. The Holy Spirit convicted me to own my actions, to repent, and to seek forgiveness. That’s the power of grace. When we see ourselves through His mercy, we can finally see others that way too—broken, in need of a Savior.
Living Redeemed
Since the separation and divorce, God has been leading me in all that I do. I mess up all the time, but my secret to life is always returning to Jesus—trading my sorrows for gladness, my anxieties for freedom, and my words for His. Without Christ, I’d be a complete mess. I wouldn’t know how to talk to my daughters. I wouldn’t know how to do this life.
It’s only through Him that I can communicate with love and understanding, teaching my girls that we are all in need of Jesus. Not one of us is perfect. We are all flawed human beings who need restoration. Our job is to show mercy and grace to others, just as Jesus has done for us. Many trials and tribulations will come our way, but I am confident that God Almighty will walk with us through whatever comes. The best thing we can ever do for others is pray for them and I hope that my daughters learn that from me. It’s the most important thing we can teach our kids. When someone hurts us, we must bring it before the Lord! Listen to Jesus and act with the same mercy and grace he gives us.
If you already know Jesus—no matter your past—Christ has redeemed you. “Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow” (Isaiah 1:18). It’s okay to still feel sadness. God Himself grieves loss. And if a sermon stirs up anger, hurt, or discouragement—it might be God nudging your heart to bring something to Him, to release what’s been hidden, and to let Him heal it.
Living Separated from God’s Love and Truth
Feeling Condemned — believing you’re beyond forgiveness or grace.
Felling left in bondage — still trapped by sin, shame, or past mistakes.
Feeling lost — without direction, hope, or connection to God.
Feeling darkness — separated from God’s truth and love.
Feeling unrepentant — refusing to surrender or turn away from sin.
Feeling broken — trying to fill the void with worldly things instead of Jesus.
If you don’t yet know Jesus, here’s the simple gospel: God loves you so much that He sent His Son, Jesus, to die for your sins so that you may be forgiven and live eternally with Him. Jesus rose from the grave, defeating death, and offering new life to all who believe in Him (John 3:16, Romans 10:9).
If you’re ready, surrender your life to Him. Find a Bible-teaching church. Surround yourself with a community of believers who will point you back to Jesus when life gets heavy. I need that daily reminder too—because truthfully, I can’t walk this life out alone. Jesus’ way is better. He is “the way, the truth, and the life” (John 14:6).
đź’ Reflection Questions
Have you ever felt unworthy of redemption because of your past?
How has God met you in your brokenness?
What’s one area of your life you need to surrender so Jesus can begin to heal it?
Who can you reach out to for Christ-centered community and encouragement this week?
🙏 Prayer
Jesus, thank You for loving us even in our brokenness. Thank You for being the Redeemer of our stories and for restoring what we thought was lost forever. Help us to walk in forgiveness—toward others and ourselves. Remind us that our worth isn’t defined by our failures, but by Your victory on the cross. May every scar we carry become a testimony of Your mercy.
In Your holy name we pray,
Amen.
Re:Generation- https://www.watermarkresources.com/ministries/regen
